Integrity - The Key to Business and Personal Relationship Success

Another one bites the dust.

Today, I heard about another "perfect" couple who got divorced. I recalled being at a seminar with the woman of the couple where she stood up and talked about how much she loved her husband who was attending the same seminar. This was 8 months ago. How quickly things change.

I'm reminded that no one knows what is actually going on in any relationship. Some that we think are perfect aren't, while others that we are sure will end in six months are going strong after sixteen years.

While I certainly don't know what's going on in anyone else's relationship (I'm sometimes not sure what's going on in my 36 year marriage), there's one thing I've learned that will harm if not destroy any relationship whether professionally or personally and that is the failure to do what one has promised to do.

In business, contracts are only as good as the integrity of the people making the contract. If you can't trust someone to keep his/her word, you can't trust the contract. The "secret" to being in business for a long time is that if you make an agreement to do something, do it.

In a personal relationship, a vow to do something "until death do you part" obviously means nothing or there would be a lot fewer divorces. The really important "vows" are those that occur day to day: Visiting family when you said you would. Coming home from work when you said you would. Helping with child care and house work when you said you would. Turning off the TV when you said you would. Listening even if you didn't say you would.

Sustaining a long-term relationship requires that you do what you promised no matter how you feel. Our feelings are transitory things that literally make no difference. "I didn't feel like it" is an attempt to excuse a failure to do what one had promised. Do this repeatedly and trust is harmed. Do this habitually and trust will be nonexistent.

This suggests that we have to be careful what we promise. While do as I say but not as I do, is advice we all have heard, we know that actions speak louder than words. People we are in relationship with are "listening" for these actions.

May you enjoy all of your relationships.

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