Body Language, Part II - Using Facial Expression and Appearance to Create Personal Charisma

If you see someone without a smile, give him one of yours. ~ Old Proverb

Non-verbal communication is powerful. It is your first connection with another person. If they are 'turned off' by your body language, your message won't be received.

In Part I of this series, we explored larger ways to develop powerful connections through stance and movement. In this article, we'll explore the more subtle methods of facial expression and personal appearance.

EYE CONTACT: Your efforts to communicate with your spouse (or anyone else) won't be effective if he/she doesn't notice you're there. Get in his or her line of sight. Hollering from the next room is NOT effective communication-unless you're in danger!

Your eyes speak volumes. You can easily build a rapport with your audience (of one or hundreds) by keeping your eyes focused on individuals throughout the group. To do that effectively as a speaker, be well prepared. You can't read your speech and maintain a good rapport with your audience.

Success Tip #1 - Keep your face light and relaxed. Don't crinkle your eyebrows or wrinkle your forehead- unless it's appropriate with your message!

Success Tip #2 - If you are a speaker, practice in front of a mirror. Watch your own facial expressions. Practice making them friendly and open. We all have foibles in our expressions. Some of us wrinkle our noses, squint, or glare.

Success Tip #3 - When it's uncomfortable maintaining eye contact for more than a few seconds, look at the bridge of a person's nose. It keeps your eyes focused on them, and releases you from the feeling that you're staring.

SMILE: Nothing communicates better than a smile. It lights your face and eyes, and tells your audience that you are pleased and happy to be with them. Your smile makes your audience open to your message.

A smile opens doors, so to speak, that a frown or blank face will not. People like people who smile-so 'they'll like you, they'll really like you'! People like to spend time with- and do business with-those who make them feel good. That's the advantage of a smile.

Here's a quick personal story to illustrate. My mother was the quietest, shyest person I've ever known. One day, I discovered in her 1946 year book that she had been voted "The Friendliest" person in her class. I was shocked! She never said 'boo' to anyone, so I asked her about it.

She told me that when she went to the big school (from a one-room school house), she was petrified. She was afraid to say anything to anyone, but she quickly learned that she didn't have to speak ... if she just smiled at everyone in the hallways. They perceived her as friendly - even though she never said a word. That's the power of non-verbal communication.

Success Tip #4 - Practice smiling at everyone you meet. Develop your 'smile' muscles to the point where you smile most of the time. Not only will you make others feel better, you will experience an emotional lift that is only available through your smile.

DRESS THE PART: There's an expression that says "fake it till you make it". If you want to be perceived as successful, dress like a professional. Remember, your appearance counts for more than your words.

Success Tip #5 - You don't need to go out and buy a new wardrobe. Polish your shoes. Press your clothes. Experiment with accessories to update your outfits. When you're dressed well, you will automatically present a more confident appearance.

Body language is really a matter of common sense. Here's an easy way to remember the basics. Use the anagram, SOFTEN, to enhance your personality and power while you 'soften' the stance and attitude of others. S - smile; O- open posture; F - forward lean; T - touch; E - eye contact; N - nod. As you practice these six non-verbal communication factors, you will increase your effectiveness in every area of your life.

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