If Your Guy is Commitment Shy, His Parents May Have Something to Do With It

One of the most pervasive reasons your guy is commitment shy goes so deep that even he may not realize how much he is influenced by it, and that is his parents. How he was brought up, what he experienced, how he assessed that will now be playing out in his life and unfortunately you may be the one who pays for it. I know there is the common notion that when children do anything wrong, that it's because of their parents. All of societies ills are leveled at parents door and rightly or wrongly that is where a lot of answers to why your guy is commitment shy.

When he was growing up he would have been parented in a way that was different to you and I, of course that goes without saying, and it's how he assessed his parenting that will be playing out in your lives today.
You see if he saw his parents argue, or disagree, or bicker or create disharmony what message will he be left with? It could be that marriage = bickering= falling out= unhappiness.

What has happened - and it happens to us all- is that he has taken on his parents idea of what commitment means, which of course is understandable. But what he may not then have done is decided for himself what his idea of commitment is- what commitment means to him. So now he's playing out his parents views on commitment in his present relationship with you.

Of course this isn't the only way to interpret these events, because another man, with the same experiences, may have decided that that when he got married he was going to make sure that it was to the right girl, and therefore the marriage= bickering is now translated into, marriage= harmony with the right girl. But if your guy is commitment shy, look into his past and start to ask yourself where does his refusal to commit come from? Is it because of what he experienced as he was growing up? Is it because of what he wants to avoid and the only way he can do that is to keep things as they are?

There are plenty of guys out there who aren't even fully aware just how much their parenting is affecting their life as an adult, but if you listen to what he says about marriage, and commitment then you'll start to pick up clues to where his attitude came from.

So is there anything you can do? The first thing you can do is sit down - maybe over a coffee and discuss with him how he wants the relationship to go with you. What does he want commitment to mean to the both of you, and then you can take it from there. You will now be on the way to not let his parenting negatively affect your relationship together.

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